#122

Welcome to Weekly Whisper #122.

Don’t wait until you have the time before you start looking after yourself

Almost as ubiquitous as the phrase ‘you’re on mute’ is the phrase ‘I haven’t got the time’.

‘I haven’t got the time’ is pushing for top billing amongst our unconscious responses to the many tasks and responsibilities that fill our cognitive plate day after day.

With a breath and space for thought many of us would recognise and I think accept, that it’s more ‘I haven’t made the time’ than ‘I haven’t got the time’.

Think of getting a call from a loved one that a dear family member had taken ill and was in hospital. “OK, I’ll be there after my back-to-back meetings have finished’ would be an unlikely response.

So, what then if we’re not making the time. Does it really matter? Maybe not in certain circumstances.

However, the ‘you’ that is so busy would regularly put your own needs bottom of the to-do list. I’m not necessarily talking selfish needs either. I’m talking basic human functioning not necessarily flourishing needs.

Everything it would seem succeeds or fails slowly then suddenly. It’s rarely the last argument that separates a relationship. It’s rarely the conference bacon and egg breakfast that forces a visit to the Emergency Department. It’s rarely the last slow executive decision that dilutes performance.

Everything needs maintenance, especially ‘you’.

Don’t wait until you have the time to look after yourself.

Don’t wait until you have space to take a moment to be grateful.

Don’t wait until you have an empty calendar to plan for family time.

Don’t wait until you have the medical event to maintain your holistic health.

It seems selfish but being selfish can be selfless – in service of you supporting and looking after everyone else.

The irony is that if you don’t make the time then time will usually make it for you.

 
Question of the week:
What would it take for you to fill your own cup?

Usually, some sort of emergency with self or a loved one. Usually, we’ll wait until something unexpected happens before we proclaim to change our behaviour.

The thing is that it isn’t that unexpected!

Everything succeeds or fails slowly… then suddenly. It’s been coming for a while you just didn’t know when.

The opposite is true of filling your own cup. Do the work, take the steps and it’ll be hard at the start and you won’t notice the difference early on. Until, and usually once you’ve forgotten, it’ll feel like it happens overnight.

Don’t wait for the event to pour some health into the self-wellness cup.

 
Quote of the week:
Is what you're doing (and how you’re doing it) worth what it’s doing to you?

We often get caught up in the busy-ness of what we think is urgent and important.

Try this thought experiment – imagine having to stand in a court of law and explain beyond reasonable doubt why you value all aspects of your health, but you must document the behavioural evidence over the last few months.

Guilty or innocent?

It’s very hard to talk your way out of something you’ve behaved your way in to.

Read that again.

So, take a small step and start behaving your way in to what you say is important to you.

 
Freedom Fridays Podcast
Catch up before next week's new release

In Episode 78 Pete chats to Steve Ellis, a long-time friend and colleague who works in the same leadership and change space.

Most will have heard the expression “the cobblers shoes”. Apparently, it derives from an old Spanish proverb which roughly translates to 'the cobbler's children have no shoes'. This means that someone with a specific skill (e.g. leadership and change) is often so busy assisting others that their own affairs (e.g. leadership and change) go unattended.

The reason this is so relevant to the conversation is that Steve had a significant health scare recently and had to change his behaviour significantly. Being a leadership and change expert ‘that should be easy'…said no-one!

Pete and Steve dive into the classic ways to change our behaviours and share some polar opposite distinctions about what worked and didn’t work for Steve going through his lived experience of changing his own behaviour.

If you or anyone you know needs to change behaviour then this is a must listen.

                         

 
That's all for this week. If you’ve been enjoying the Weekly Whispers please feel free to forward it to friends and anyone you think would benefit.

As always, email me at [email protected] to share your feedback or to let me know your thoughts.

Cheers

Pete