#137

If it’s out of our hands it deserves freedom from our minds too – Ivan Nuru

So often we get caught in the thinking trap of allowing our thoughts to focus on what we can’t control.

We know and are reminded of the logic constantly – focus on the controllable. Focus on what you can influence. Sphere of control and influence etc etc.

And yet, we fall into the trap regularly.

Perhaps asking ourselves ‘do I have any agency in this situation’ might help us determine what, if anything, we can control or influence?

One of my mental practices is letting go/holding lightly/detaching from the need to 100% control the circumstances of my life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I want to, but do I actually need to?

If I’m attached to the ‘need to’ and it doesn’t quite work out the way I want it to, how might it impact me? I’ll get frustrated, annoyed, hold on tighter, focus on the things I can’t control etc – you can see the pattern playing out 😊

So, I can ‘want’ to control and manage my life circumstances but being unconsciously attached to ‘needing to’ creates an unhealthy relationship with whatever happens.

I can’t control what just happened because it happened! It’s done. It’s in the past. Circumstances have already moved on.

The moment I argue with what happens I’m wrong…but only 100% of the time.

So, I’ve been reminding myself of the priming question – ‘what agency do I have in this circumstance?’

Question of the week

What could be good about it?

Such a simple yet under-utilised question. Note the question isn’t ‘what is good about it’ simply a possibility that it could be.

Pondering this question when circumstances arrive that we aren’t fond of can dilute the negativity and momentarily focus our attention on another possibility.

It can help us see what our safety driven selves can’t immediately see.

 
Quote of the week:

"There is nothing good or bad but our thinking makes it so" Shakespeare

We make it all up! Often for good reasons or what we think are good reasons but it’s our thinking that causes us a lot of angst and suffering.

How would you navigate life if you thought differently?

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Cheers

Pete