#178 Using comparison for inspiration not humiliation

Welcome to Weekly Whisper #178.

Using comparison for inspiration not humiliation

One of my many achilles heels is to suffer from comparison.

I’d compare myself to others who I perceived were ‘better’ in some domain – personally, professionally, materially, spiritually etc.

I’d beat myself up.

I’d berate myself.

I’d feel shame and humiliation that I perceived myself as ‘not as good as…’

Frustratingly, I couldn’t detect any pattern and found myself caught and bound by the ‘I’m not as good as’ narrative.

I knew the platitudes of course…comparison is the thief of joy etc… and yet I couldn’t reconcile the possible benefits of comparison with the inevitable suffering.

As I sat with the self-imposed shame and humiliation, I recognised that negative comparison reinforced the idea that things are impossible whereas positive comparison opened up the idea that things are possible.

I became more aware that negative comparison closed me down, drained me and darkened the future whereas positive comparison opened me up, energised me and brightened the future.

Negative comparison held me back. Positive comparison pulled me forward.

Negative comparison reinforced the narrative ‘not me.’ Positive comparison reinforced the narrative ‘why not me?’.

Negative comparison forced a lens of scarcity whereas positive comparison encouraged a lens of abundance.

Admittedly, only in small doses but I can find myself using comparison for inspiration and possibility versus humiliation and negativity.

It sounds cliched but I’ve occasionally been able to connect the downside of comparison…” I’m not as good as...” with the upside of comparison “I’m not as good as yet” or “Do I really want to be?”.

And whilst neither narrative is necessarily true the re-balance of negative comparison to positive comparison has inspired me to ‘look up and out’ and double-down on accepting where I’m at or maintain my focus and effort on improvement.

So, what about you?

How to you use comparison?

As a force for good?

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Cheers

Pete