192

Damn. I got caught again.
A recent flight was delayed.
Not normally a problem—except this was a connecting flight. A tight one. Minimal time between landing and taking off again.
My brain flipped into high gear:
Will we make it?
What if we don’t?
What can I do?
How far is the arrival gate from the departure gate?
Can I call ahead for a cart?
Is there another flight?

Resourceful but on and on it went. My mind racing through every possible scenario, each one demanding a solution.
“If we don’t take off soon, I’ll miss my connection.”
“If I miss my connection, I’ll be stuck overnight.”
“If I’m stuck overnight, I’ll miss the conference.”
“If I miss the conference, I will lose the client...forever”
A spiral. One I’ve been caught in before.
But here’s the kicker: It wasn’t really the delay that was hijacking my mind. It was my “need” for control—more accurately, the illusion of it.

Lately, I’ve been running full speed, cramming my schedule, stretching to meet every client need, leaving no slack in the system, no buffer, no breathing room.
I plan. I organise. I map everything out. If I structure it well enough, life and my calendar will comply.
Oh, how foolish 😊

Life and certainly not my calendar appears to work that way.
Anything can happen—and it often does.
And when it does? That’s when the helplessness kicks in. The frustration. The feeling that things aren’t happening the way I “need them to be”.

My alternative?
Acceptance. Then remembering.
Acceptance of “what is”.
Remembering that, more often than not, I’ve worked it out before.
Not passive resignation. Not rolling over and giving up. But a conscious choice to say: “This is happening. I don’t like it. But I can work with it.”
Because that’s the real problem. Not the delay itself—but my illusory “attachment to certainty”.

There’s a saying - Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional.
Flight delays are inevitable.
Racing ahead in my mind to solve problems that haven’t even happened yet? That’s optional.
The suffering? That comes from my need that things must unfold exactly as planned.

So next time a flight is late, or a plan unravels, I’ll ask myself:

• Am I being controlled by this situation—or by my expectations?
• What’s one thing I can accept instead of resist?
• I can trust myself to handle whatever happens

Because my need for control isn’t about making things go perfectly. It’s about staying steady when they don’t.

Or as my youngest daughter likes to remind me: "Dad, be the kind of person it would be great to be lost with."

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Cheers

Pete