#6

Welcome to Weekly Whispers #6

Which whisper did you hear from Week #5?

Are you prepared to do the work before you dance under the lights of success?

Have you experienced doing a ‘Bradbury’?

Do you have any other Spotify playlists to recommend?

A slightly different format this week...

Likes, novelty, ‘I now know…’, ‘I didn’t know that…’, ‘that’s interesting’ - aren’t necessarily good predictors of future behaviour.

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than think your way into a new way of acting.

I’m sure there are more, including the ‘X‘ factor, but here are (at least) 8 traits that are scientifically proven to predict future success with a little commentary from me.

See the full Forbes article here.

1. The ability to delay gratification

Are you quick to follow the new sparkly thing or can you control your novelty impulses and wait for the reward. There’s more to life than preventing death so having no immediate rewards and no spontaneous dopamine hits would make life pretty dull and uninteresting. However, when you are hungry to achieve more - whatever that means for you - then being willing to delay the dopamine hit until after you’ve done what you said you’d do would appear to be a strong indicator of future success. Give the "If-Then" strategy from Whisper #4 a try.

2. Conscientiousness

Are you willing to do the dull, boring stuff despite no obvious and perhaps visible evidence of progress? I’ve read many times that there’s rarely anything that’s an overnight success. The time we hear of the success is when it’s visible but usually there’s been some long hours of work or practice to get to that point. Success, or failure, usually happens slowly then quickly.

3. A belief in free will

It’s hard to ignore Victor Frankl’s quote “Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way", from his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Whether we actually do or not, it would appear isn’t as relevant as believing that we have control and influence over our lives.

Pay attention to what you are paying attention to! I know it’s easier said than done but focusing our effort on what’s within our control and influence builds motivation and momentum. Are you happening to life, or is life happening to you?

4. Being in an open network

We become like who we surround ourselves with. Someone challenged me years ago and said that if I showed her my friends she could tell how successful I’d be. Given that we are safety-seeking and comfort driven mammals then no wonder I surround myself with those that are like me…or is it the other way round?

So, how much do you seek those that you disagree with – not to persuade and influence but to understand? How often do you welcome those that have polar opposite views into a dialogue? Not to argue but to be open to other perceived sources of evidence.

5. Childhood adversity

Most people will now be familiar with what’s been coined a ‘growth mindset’. We know that our brain is plastic i.e. it’s constantly forming new connections based on our experiences. We also know that we learn lots - and usually quite quickly – from big failures and mistakes – imagine touching a boiling kettle more than once! There’s also a concept called post-traumatic growth. Despite the traumatic experience people can develop strength from it. This obviously doesn’t apply to every aspect of trauma but as adults, I’m wondering what would happen if we changed our relationship with failure? What if we could befriend our incompetence? Would it allow us to get more used to uncomfortable experiences in order to grow?

6. Avid reading

Forgive me, but my education background wants me to expand that to Insatiable Learning Monster!

Reading is obviously a great way to understand and know more but it’s not the only way. Also, knowing more doesn’t necessarily translate in to doing more. My background in physical education taught me that no amount of knowing how to do a lay-up shot in basketball ever translated into actually being able to do it. So for me, anything you do on a consistent basis that means you improve what you know and do - even by 1% - is a good thing. Life, after all, is cumulative.

7. Past Success

The power of recognising and celebrating small wins. Our brains can’t tell the difference between a big win or a little one - it just recognises the dopamine release. Every time you achieve something, however small, give yourself a fist bump to release the dopamine. Appreciating that life, and success for that matter, are infinite games - we’re only ever ahead or behind - then recognising and remembering our previous success means we can build momentum. Where you’re at right now is only a picture, not a video - it doesn’t tell the full story.

8. Grit

Growth and comfort can’t co-exist. Growth isn’t for all day, every day - otherwise you’ll have no mates! It might be hard for others to relate to you if you are constantly striving and grit is a bit like a muscle – the more you expose it to tension, the more it strengthens, but over-exert and it will break down. So, when’s the right time for you to choose growth and when's the right time for you to choose comfort?

Freedom Fridays - My weekly experiment with time and focus

My intention is to openly share a change I’m making within my life. I’m hoping you can take the lessons learnt and apply it to any change you want to make.

This week was predominantly about the fears, dreams, hopes, and concerns creating and publishing the podcast has brought up for me.

Click here to listen to more

That's all for this week and I hope you enjoyed Weekly Whisper #6 - let me know if you did.

Cheers

Pete