Welcome to the Freedom Fridays Project podcast. I'm Pete Clark, your host, the whispers guide. It appears that work expands to the time that we give it and I started to explore how I was investing my time and effort, particularly on Fridays. It's evolved to an exploration and experiment with time, energy, attention and identity. And a mindset shift from I have to, to I choose to. So if you're interested in exploring some changes to the way that you invest your time and energy, if you'd like some tips on the way as you make some changes, perhaps to your identity. If you would like the freedom of I choose to, away from I have to, then this is the podcast for you. So welcome to the Freedom Fridays Project podcast.
So welcome to this week's podcast, Freedom Fridays, about bringing more life to your years moving from I have to, to I choose to, although if you've listened to previous podcasts, you'll know that sometimes some of my guests slip back, which is cool. And this week I've gotten a buddy who I've known for a long, long time. And surprisingly, she is now back close to me, location wise, but that's gonna be part of our story. So I'd like to introduce you to Anna. Hey, Anna, how you doing? Good. Pete, how are you? Well, we're in lockdown. It's as good as can be. Right? We're doing okay. I think as you said, prior to our conversation, surviving not necessarily thriving and that's okay. Anna thank you for your time, I'm looking forward to this conversation for a number of reasons. And I start usually with the big question, Freedom Fridays was designed to help people go from a big change to something different, almost like from I have to to I choose to. What's your big change?
I think Pete probably the biggest change I've experienced in the last, well let's call it 18 months, was walking out of my flat in London, closing the door, heading to Australia for my standard six, eight weeks of Christmas holiday. And, you know, I've been living in London for, I moved to London in 2003 and I moved there for a job I moved there for work. And my plan was just to a couple of years here and then I'll go home to Australia. And I am very much Australian. And I've always thought that I'd like to grow old in Australia. Like I kind of feel like that's where I was going to retire. But I was I always remember describing Australia a little bit like a lobster pot. She knew you know what a lobster pot looks like? Yes, yeah, lobster crawls in. And hey, bingo, guess what? So I was always feeling like, if I came back then it would be really hard to get out. And you know, I lived in the UK in my early 20s and came back to Australia. And then I got out again and went to New York. I lived in New York for a while and then I went to London. And I suppose that when I left the flat December 2019 it was yet again, you know, I used to cry on the plane all the way to Australia. And then I'd cry on the plane all the way back to the UK. So I was always leaving this kind of double life. So when I was in the UK, I was because I'm very big on being present. So it's not about the future. It's not about the past. It's like what's happening right now. And so when I was in the UK, I was very much in the UK and I loved it. And I had a great pipeline of clients and great friends. And it's great place to be doing what I was doing. But I always had this like dreadful homesickness that used to every now and again creep out. So have always been in this dilemma, where should I be? Where should I be investing my time? Where should I be investing my time and clients, and more importantly in friendships? So, I left 2019 going, Okay, I'm just gonna go home for six weeks. And it's interesting, I even refer to it as home. Although I spent more time living abroad than I have living in Australia, which is kind of kooky. I mean, look at you, you're, you're from up there, and you've spent more time here than I have, right? Yes, that's right. And so then I think when the pandemic started to really surface, I was like maybe, maybe this is something and interestingly, I kind of apologised to the world and say, I'm really sorry that I had to cause a global pandemic to force me to stay in Australia. And I think it felt very much at the beginning and I think that first 2020 was really rocky for me. Like, you know, you and I do the work that we do, in order to do the work that we do, you have to be robust yourself. You have to be on top of your game. If you are looking to do what we do for others, you kind of got to be okay yourself. You've got to be thriving yourself in order to work with other people. And I kind of all through 2020 kept thinking, Man, I gonna burst into tears any moment, how can I stand in front of a group of people? So 2020 was an interesting, and I got to say, pretty bumpy year. And I was kind of curious whether I would ever was kind of curious, would I ever really work again, you know, I was feeling so bumped around by it. And I think one of the things that I learned in that time I had no, I had no place. So every year when I come home to Australia, I spend half my time with mum and dad and half my time with my sister and her husband and family. And so suddenly I was here, and I wasn't going anywhere. But I had no place. And during the first lockdown, I disappeared up to mum and dad because they live out of Sydney. And I thought, here I am, the wrong side of let's just say I'm a female Pete, wrong side of 45 living with my parents. And you know, I love mom and dad and was super close, but it kind of didn't really feel like that was the appropriate thing to be doing. So I then said and you know, I was clearly overstaying my welcome with my sister and her husband. And so I thought, Okay, I need to find somewhere to live. So a friend had an Airbnb, and I moved into that. And I kind of looked around and oh my god, this is what my life has become this tiny Airbnb in the back of Potts Point. And I think that I started, so sorry, I started to understand that environment and place
is actually fundamental to thriving. If you go back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and you go, it is a foundation, and I think I'd always underplayed it. And the turning point for me was renting the apartment that I'm now renting. And it was like, it was like, self soothing, it was like, a balm of just to nurture my soul. Sounds bit melodramatic, but to walk into an apartment, so where I'm located, I've got a view of Elizabeth Bay, which is quintessentially Sydney, I see the sunrise come up over the water. And you know, sunrises in Australia are different to anywhere else in the world. It's like, I think, Julia Baird said, it's like someone's thrown petrol onto the horizon. You know, it's so vibrant. And that wakes up that gets up every every sunrise and blasts into my bedroom. And I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm in Australia. And I think that that sense of feeling grounded in a place, being able to listen to the lap of the water, being able to see the sunrise, being able to see the sky that is nowhere, there's no sky like it. And I think that was probably the point where I went, Wow, this is this is no longer I have to this is like, wow, I finally, I finally got back. And sure I went through the process of a pandemic to get here. But now I really do feel like I really feel like I'm in the right place.
Cool. Anna as expected, as we talked about prior to this, you've given me three or four different strands, we could go down there. Thank you for that. I'm gonna go back right to the start. Because let me get this right to help our listeners understand, you know, the premise of Freedom Fridays was from I have to I choose to, and you were choosing to come back to Australia for a holiday that you normally do. But because of the circumstances of this global pandemic, you were kind of forced to choose to. Yes, absolutely. How did that feel? When did you well, better question, when did you recognise that? And how did that feel?
I think the recognising it was a have to was pretty much as soon as the borders were closed. And I thought... Which was mid March time, wasn't it?
Yeah, mid March. And to be fair, I had sort of had a few adventures planned in the southern hemisphere. So my parents had their 60th wedding anniversary. So there's a whole lot of reasons that I was still here mid March. But you know, my plan was to be back by Easter, back in the UK by Easter. I think that the borders, it's a funny thing. It's sometimes quite, makes life easy when that decision is taken away from me. Interesting. Yeah. And every time that crying on the plane is every time trying to make a decision about should I be here? And it was very binary. Should I be in UK? Or should I be in Australia, that kind of flip flopped backwards and forwards. So when that decision was taken away from me, and it was a have to I was, oddly, because I don't like being told what to do. But oddly, I was relieved, because I couldn't go back. So I didn't have to go through that angst of where should I be? Should I be here? Should I be there? So suddenly, it was taken away from me. And that was quite liberating oddly enough. But then I was in a place that I wasn't sure that I wasn't quite sure that I was in the right place. So hence, the needing to find an environment where I could start to feel settled. Does that make sense?
It does. I'm gonna come to the place question in a second. I'd like to discuss that with you. But the second thing, the second strand I'd like to pick up on is because I feel the same. How is it that people like you and I who've done, you know, hours and weeks and months of work on ourselves? Yeah. And we live in an environment as you've described the sunrise in Sydney. And there's been some spectacular sunrises this year, this winter. How can people like that, who, in comparison to billions of other people? How can we still feel bumpy? How can we still feel fragile? How is that, how is that possible? So when people outside of that environment look in they kinda go? Yeah, but you've got it made? So not invalidating that feeling. Because I some I felt really wobbly, sometimes really fragile, even as, even as recently as this morning, for whatever reason. So how can you explain that, in given all of those external circumstances, there's still something going on that makes it feel bumpy for us?
It's interesting, someone said recently, and it wasn't, it was, I'm going to take you slightly off track, but I'll come back to it. So they were talking about, actually talking about the protest on the weekend? Yeah. Now, I'm not discussing politics, and kind of leave that one out of it. But (this is not the podcast for that) this is not the podcast for that. But I was trying to make sense of it in my own head, because that's what I was doing. And so I was talking to someone I said, Look, help me try and make sense of this, what is the kernel? What is the drive? What is the motivator for these people to take to the streets. And this person said, in a place of entitlement, even equality feels like oppression. (Whoa, say that again) so in the place, so with a quality, it occurs to people who are entitled, a quality occurs as oppression (wow). And I sort of was thinking about it. And I was thinking, I wonder, because I haven't seen the footage, but is that so when we are so free, that someone, we have a situation where some of those liberties are taken away, it feels like oppression, and we respond to it so violently that we take to the streets. (Interesting take.) So it's an interesting take. And I kind of relate it back to the experience that you and I have had so not that we're white, privileged and entitled, well, you know, arguably, we are, but we've had this most extraordinary life. And, you know, I was reflecting this morning on storytelling. And, you know, I've got a whole lot of stories about you know, when I walked across the, walked across the Jordan desert, from Petra to the Dead Sea. And, you know, when I was in New York, you know, all of these amazing life experiences which currently I'm not able to participate in. And so for me, then there's a whole life that I'm not able to participate in and wonder whether I ever will again. So yeah, sure if he's sitting on the outside of that you go white privilege entitled, but it's more about, you know, I've created what I've created, and yes, I was very lucky to be born into the family that I was born in and, and I've taken the opportunities and I feel like I've made a lot of I've made a lot of those opportunities. So then you go when that gets taken away. I kind of wonder, well, what's next? And so I think that's what makes me wobbly is the uncertainty of the future. And I'm incredibly, you know, I recognise how lucky I am to be where I am, during this interesting time in human history. Um, every night again, you know, someone circulated the other day, you know, photographs of refugees sitting in cardboard boxes, and you kind of go, Yeah, what have I got to complain about, but it kind of comes back to a broken leg still hurts. (Yeah.) And my broken leg is, you know, as painful as someone else's. But you know, obviously, I look at my circumstances and go, wow, you know, I am incredibly blessed. And I have this expression.
Someone said to me, we've got to squeeze more out of life. So what I have this expression, whenever I see something that's beautiful, or I become present to, there's a lot of spring flowers out at the moment, they're way too early don't they know it's middle of winter. But anytime I'm very conscious of beautiful smells, and beautiful sights. And every morning, when I get up and see that sunrise, I go 'aaand squeeze'. Because it's like a trigger to say get present to how fantastic this is. And so I kind of try and make myself incredibly conscious and aware and of those moments. And, and I think that's sort of the balance. And I so often just want to catch myself and like not step through this too quickly. And at the moment in my in my flat, I've got jonquils in the bathroom. And I don't know if you know about the smell of jonquils. But they're just beautiful. And in my bedroom, I've got a beautiful candle that a friend gave me that smells of roses. So I can walk into my bedroom, it smells of roses, I can walk into my bathroom, and it smells of jonquils. And then in my hall, I've got some new lilies. Now that lilies cost me, I don't know $10 - $5 in the supermarket? But they're a beautiful smell. And so it's getting all of those things, and just paying attention to it and being present to it
So is that a way through which you're squeezing more out of life, all of those sensory triggers? To bring you back to the present?
Yes, definitely. And so that because in this time, sorry to cut across you, Pete, but in this time, you know, I am acutely aware that I am going to wake up and go, Oh, my God, I'm 70. How did I get here? With any luck, right? That would be privilege to wake up and go, I'm 70. I just don't want to do it too early. And this is constant. And with lockdown, space and time, that weird continuum that seems to have kind of got it all out of whack. And I just want to make sure that I moment by moment. It's not that I have to do more. In fact, sometimes it's doing less, but the squeezing out of life is just being present to what is there.
Yeah, you've given some really good examples, I think from a sense of smell but given that a lot of people would be would rely on the visual sense. Are there any visual anchors that you use that bring you back to the present moment?
Um, I think there is. There was a lovely program on the radio at some point, which was something weird, like exploring the wilds of your neighborhood. And this guy was basically saying Get, start to notice bugs and insects, even if you're living in the inner city. So I think there's visual cues for me. And, you know, my first degree was in graphic design, so I think I am more visual and then auditory. And so what I'm always looking for is, what is those, what are those little things? It's almost like, is that a frame that you can look through. So I have this little walkway where I go down and get my car, and there's a scrabbly bush of different plants, but I always take the time to look at you know, what's something I can notice on the way down and look for the beauty in amongst this scrabbly bunch of things. And as some amazing insects, just incredible little things that you see. And you kind of go, gosh, how many, how easy is it to rush past that stuff, and not notice it? And I think that as a consequence of lockdown, I've been doing a walk around the Botanic Gardens. Oh my goodness, what a beautiful, amazing, amazing place those botanical gardens are. And there's all sorts of plants and the guys that work in there do the most amazing job and to actually slow down and I got caught in the rain there recently. And I dived under cover because it was a big tree. And there's this thing down there. What is it when they are half beast, half man with the horns, half ram, minotaur or centaur. Anyway, there's one of those down there. And he's got this really is like leaning back, he's got this really cheeky grin. And it's in a really odd place in the Botanic Gardens, which you wouldn't normally see. And I thought to myself, the only reason I found it was the ducked out of the rain. And I thought, Oh, how fantastic is that? So I took a whole lot of photos. Now, what do I do with those photos? Probably nothing. But it's taking that just to capture that moment. And so now every day when I walk around, I make a detour to go and say hello to him, and then I move on. So it's sort of, it's not the, it's not a visual trigger to get me somewhere. But it's paying attention to what is there and spending the time to appreciate all sorts of different things,
Which is lovely. And what happens then if someone's prone to forgetting what do you do is anything that triggers the thought, to pay more attention?
Yeah, yes. I think repetition of that tagline. And squeeze.
Yeah. So there's no substitute for just doing it again, and again. And again, and again. And again. And then again, once more, and then once for luck, but then once more again, and then again.
And it's just for me, it's about putting into muscle memory. And I think there's a there's a physicality thing as well. So a sign, I hope you're gonna edit this podcast a little bit, but it's that sense of going, Aaah. And what you know, is when you go, Aaah, it's like, you can't be contracted. So catching myself and going, Aaah, and squeeze. So there's sort of a vocal. Obviously, if anyone saw me in the street, they would think I was completely loopy. But maybe that's true, too. But there's a sense of, can I create that trigger? And the release of that, so you've got a build up of tension and then just, Aaah, and squeeze. So I think there is about just having it in muscle memory and having it be a deliberate practice.
Yeah, there is something in that isn't there, because for most people, I think our felt experience would be when we sigh we just relax a bit more. Yeah, it goes a little bit beneath the, you know, the neurological and the physiological aspect of our tention. It just drops it kind of like tense up a little bit. And then the sigh takes us a bit beneath.
And just to illustrate that, Pete, I'm gonna ask you to hold, clench your fist? (Yeah. Right.) So clench it as hard as tight as you can clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench. Now let it go. Did you notice you were holding your breath? (No, I didn't.) So do it again. And then you let go. (Yeah, consciously focused on my breath that time, but I didn't notice the first time). Yeah, so typically, what you find is often when we hold tension in our body, we're holding our breath. Yeah. So when you sigh. That is, as you've just articulated the release of that tension. And then you can start breathing more fluidly. So all of the work that people are doing around mindfulness, and they're saying focus on your breathing. When you're breathing, naturally and deeply and mindfully, you're not holding tension in your body. And what we know is when we're holding tension, that's where we start making mistakes. That's where we say things that we don't want to say that's where we get lockjaw. It's like all of this like constricted movement, constricted speech, constricted thoughts, because we're holding our breath, we're holding tension. So if we focus on our breathing, that is going to get us more back into our bodies. More grounded, more centered, more able to deal with whatever the world throws at us. And I think that the Aaah is about just letting go and physical tension. And then you start to breathe. So it's a little bit of what comes first, the tension or the breathing. And it doesn't really matter, whichever way you come in.
Yeah, it doesn't matter how you come in, as long as you repeat the process.
Yeah. And I catch myself, so I'm a great teeth grinder. I mean, I don't do it when I'm awake. But I do it when I'm asleep. And, you know, I catch myself with a carry huge amount of tension in my jaw. (Wow.) And just being able to put my attention to getting back into my body. And to sounds like, you know, I've spent hundreds of hours, it's gonna be grossly exaggerated. I spent a lot of time in the corporate world. And in my experience, what was valued was what was inside your head? (Yes.) And now I'm starting to spend more time, and part of its being in lockdown part of it's because I'm probably fitter than I've been for a long time. And I'm just much more in, you know, I can feel my body. And I know, that's a very strange concept for someone who is listening to this who exists more in their head. And for those of you that have been doing it forever, I apologise for stating the obvious. But there is something about when a head person like me suddenly goes, wow, actually, I can feel my body all the way down to my feet. Yeah. And I'm conscious of the chair that I'm now sitting in while I'm talking to you. I'm conscious of the, I'd love to say, the very elegant trousers I'm wearing. But actually, it's my sweat pants. But I can feel the fabric on my legs.
Yeah. I've asked audiences or people I've been working with recently. I can't remeber where I got this from, but I've asked them, Do you prefer to live in your head or in your body? And almost by definition, everyone has to answer the question in their head. You have ironic? Yeah. Everyone would accept that biologically, our head is part of our body. (Yes.) Obviously, right, stating the obvious, but we've kind of separated them somehow. And I wonder if not to completely deny what's going on in my head I wonder if this is a redressing or rebalancing of being able to navigate both, you know to listen to both your head and your body. And that's an intelligent, physical and mental, intelligent way of operating.
Yes. And in my experience, if you have spent a lot of time in your head, as I have, it's taken me a couple of, well it's taken me a number of years to have the big thaw, I refer to it as, which is just to start to have my body be part of my awareness. And I'm incredibly, you know, I'm incredibly interested in making sense of stuff, that happens in my head. Whereas now I'm starting to go, Okay, if I can pay attention to that tension again. Then I can go I hang on a minute. What's that trying to tell me? Why am I suddenly? Why is my heart rate suddenly starting to really increase? What's going on here? What am i picking up? That is leading me to have a physiological response to this? And what can I learn from that? Because if I notice myself, sorry just finish, I noticed myself getting tense, something's going on, that I might not have yet worked out.
And I sense as well, that practically, practically is the wrong word. But for most people, it's not until their body is broken, that they'll start to pay attention to it. (Yeah, interesting.) And yeah. Like you said, if we pay attention to it, it's probably whispering to us all the time.
Yeah. And sometimes those whispers if we don't listen to them, turn into shouts. (They do, they absolutely do.) What I've enjoyed is mine, my body awareness, let's call it then I'm sure there's probably this a better semantic term for it. It has come through having this time over the last 18 months to get super fit. I'm working with a personal trainer, and I'm doing lots of walking and exercise and building my strength and my balance because you know, strong bodies live longer. And so that has been a joyful experience. And now it's given me so many different options. You know, someone says, oh, let's go for gamma tennis. I'm like, yeah, I'm not for that. But you've already had a 7k walk. Doesn't matter, my body can deal with it. And I think it's been through the joy of that, that's had me pay attention to my body versus waiting til it's broken and then paying attention to it. So I think from that perspective, I'm super lucky. So I look back and go, okay. It was a wobbly, 18 months. And sure, I haven't yet built a client profile, a client pipeline that I was hoping. But there's been some there's been some silver lining.
Yeah. And I want to do talk about some of the work that we do and how you the sort of things that we can share with people that might help them through changes like this. But I do want to pick up on one strand that you you offered right at the start. And I'll tell you why I'm going to pick it up. You talked about place. My one of my first trips to America was predominantly a church camp. I didn't realise that. And that's only relevant because they used to sing on a Sunday, get 400 Kids singing, it was beautiful. Two of the American lads that I got to know really well and one of my Scottish buddies, we, we wrote a song and recorded it. Now I can't sing but I'm quite good with lyrics. And so we recorded we wrote and we recorded the song. One of the guys was a good guitarist, and you know, etc, and it was called 'a place'. And the first line was, 'so many people want a place a place to call their own a place to call their home. (Yeah, right.) And just when I hear the word place, I think it's got it's got so many different levels to it. (Yeah, yeah.) When you think about place when you look inside, where do you go?
Yeah, that's interesting. Where do I go when I look inside. I think I think I go to Yeah, it's funny, say more, ask more, explain more about that question. Give me an example of where you go.
Well, I'm interested, I go to the past. I anchor myself in places, emotions, places, things I've experienced in the past, when I want to feel more certain, when I'm a little bit wobbly, when I'm a little bit uncertain. When I'm a little bit fragile, little bit emotional, you know, we had partly because of what's been going on, I've got a list of movies that my kids must see throughout their life, you know, classics, Braveheart, you know, Schindler's List, Shawshank, Inception, all that stuff, and one of them, and I can feel it now rise my body is A Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner movie, which is, there's a few whispers in there. But it's essentially about the relationship he has with his father. You know, my dad died when I was 10. So that whole father son relationship is a massive anchor for me. And I cried all the way through it. (Yeah.) That anchor, even when my daughter suggested it I was bubbling at the movie cover, because it has such a strong place for me, that anchoring of the importance of what I missed out on how it's turned me into who I am. It's all wrapped up in this thing called place. And so maybe its an issue but that's where I go and doing that, that sometimes helps me be more present.
Yeah, Interesting. Interesting. So there's a little bit for me to about place and people, right. So as I said, you know, I'm outrageously Australian although I spent 25 years not living here. And for me, any time I was challenged by the things that I was doing, I always had this sense of a really solid foundation, which is my family in Australia. So any and I used to kind of joke so you know, I was like in my early 20s selling software into FTSE 100s like with a plastic briefcase, and I always thought, Well, you know, if I really, if I really mess this up, I can always go home. And home to me was you know, my parents and I'm very lucky that they're still both alive. And I know that it doesn't matter what I do. You know, my mother still has this beautiful collection of childhood pottery. And we made some my sister and I made some really bad pots. But you know, to mum through her lens, you can do no wrong. So any anything that I make, and I am kind of like interested in creative and so lots of different things I make. And if it needs a home, it always goes to Mum, she's always going to appreciate it. So I think that that, as I said before, this sense of place being being in this apartment, the other centres places having my parents, and that's backup. So I can be, I have a very interesting risk profile. I'm hugely adventurous. I'm hugely interested in taking risks, whether it's financial, whether it's whatever, because I've got them and I know that if it all goes to clay, or all turns to, then I can, I can go back. And
that's really interesting, because the reason I asked you about where do you look inside for place is partly because I'm exactly like you my home location wise is Edinburgh. Right in Scotland, and the minute I touchdown there. my nervous system settles because I'm, it feels like my nervous system was born and raised there. That's my home. Yeah, it's not that I don't feel like Australia's my home because my home is often the people I'm surrounded with. And so the reason I asked you about the inside one is because as we certainly here in Australia, right now go through lockdown. We can't go anywhere else external. We can't visit our relatives in the country, our rellies in Queensland or wherever. We just can't go anywhere. And so not having that I wonder how else we can tap into that essence of home or place? But looking inside?
Yes, yes. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. And there is something about what can I count on for myself? So can you self soothe? And I think this is a really interesting notion. What do people do to self soothe? So unlike you Pete, I'm not married with beautiful children. And so I'm in an apartment on my own. And yes, I've got lovely friends that I'm walking with and doing things. But what can I do when I close the door at night, and, you know, face my own cooking yet again. So feel free to send any food parcels? But you know, cooking is kind of not a self soothing thing for me. But what I am, what I have got super clear about is what is it that gives me a sense of that. And so for me, it's about walking. So hence my trips around the Botanic Gardens and appreciating all of the bits. So it's not walking for walking sake, but it's walking for the visuals as well. And the warmth on my back, as I walk around so that's one thing and also, so ask your listeners to close their ears for a moment. The other thing I do is knit, right? So please paint a picture of what I look like I don't look like a knitter. Right. Okay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you know, they're very wonderful people in the world who do wonderful knitting. And, you know, I've got completely obsessed, because why? Because it's about patterns. And it's about a sense of achievement. So, you know, at the end of the evening, I can look at something you know, and I knit small squares, because I'm not that adventurous. But I've got a lot of small squares. And they're incredibly intricate. And I use interesting Aran patterns and things like that, because at the end of the day, I can look at it and go, I have achieved something. And at some point, I'm going to sew these 50 squares together. And guess who's getting it for their birthday? Cuz she will appreciate it. So for me this sense of, you know, what does that take, and it's really interesting to pay attention. What I have found really interesting is to pay attention to what is it that soothes my nervous system? And what is it that that calms that down? And sitting in front of endless Netflix is not me, right? Although I have to be fair, I have watched my fair share this lockdown, but to actually spend time creating something that actually I can look at. So I get this little dopamine hit by the end of it, because I've achieved something. And there is something in the future, which will be a gift for my mother. My father keeps saying please don't give me a rug. But there is a joy that is going to be placed in the future. So for me and look, I understand for many people, it's cooking. That doesn't happen to be mine. But you know, and I have taken on, my family I think they think it's funny, but they send me more and more complex jigsaw puzzles. Not really painting a very good picture of myself. But these jigsaw puzzles are like, they're incredibly beautiful because they're sort of New South Wales Art Gallery very complex beautiful jigsaws. There is nothing like a little dopamine hit when you finally work out where that last piece goes (or the four corners or the frame or) Yeah, or the fact that you've just navigated through this amazing black mass of background that how could they possibly make sense of? And so I think being, increasing my awareness around what are the things that I need to soothe my nervous system? For some people, it's having a long bath for some, but it's like, get clear about what that is. And that, in me getting clear about what it is I can then take care of myself in this like really weird time. And it doesn't cost money. It's not about that. It's about what is going to gently soothe my system.
Well, that's it for this week's podcast. I know that sounded like it stopped rather abruptly. That's because Anna and I kept on talking. And we talked for longer than we expected. So I'm going to split the podcast into two. That's just part one. Tune in for next week to pick up the second half of our conversation. Cheers.
