Welcome to Episode 19.
So I'm going to do a short solo episode this week. Partly to reflect on the interviews that I've been having and some of the normal people that are doing extraordinary things, share some thoughts with you about how my Fridays are going, and leave you with a couple of questions that I've been pondering.
And so I came across a book a couple of weeks ago, called Start Ugly. That's right, start ugly. And that really resonated with me, because when I started this, I had no idea what I was doing. It was on a bit of a whim, it's not my normal, or hasn't been my normal approach. Normally, I do some research and plan it out and do a mind map, etc, etc. Whereas, I just started this. And with a resolve to see where it went, if it even went anywhere, and to make it a bit better as I went along. And I think I've done that. You know, 19 episodes in with a couple of episodes, interviewing other people, I feel like I can, you know, I make notes quicker, I am able to articulate a little bit longer, and I think a little bit better - but you, the listener, will be the judge of that - about what's been going on my head. And so when I came across Start Ugly, it really resonated. Because, for me, that's the premise, if you're never really going to know until you start. And as I said, my normal pattern was, it's got to be pretty schmuck. And I wonder, I've been wondering a lot of that's because I was fearful of the perception that people would have, in my work, in my life, I don't know what it is exactly, but people will have a perception of how I operate. And I wonder if my fear of it being less than, what it might have been prevented me from even doing this. And so that's been a really big win for me, in doing this podcast is just the ability to record my voice with some relatively random thoughts under the premise of Freedom Fridays, and see where it goes.
Now one of the things that I've shared with you before, if you've listened to previous podcasts, is what then came out of the universe. What they came out of the woodwork if you like, was other people who were doing Fridays or not. We're trying to move from something to something that we're trying to move from 'God, I have to do this', and 'I really want to choose to do that'. And so far, I've interviewed two pretty normal people, Alex, who is a corporate guy who is using magic to become a better storyteller. And Craig, who is moving out of the long held family home. Fascinating interviews. And, as I've reflected in that as a task, as you know, something to share with you, the listener. I found it quite easy to have the conversation. I found it better. And almost like we're having a coffee or a beer or something. And that's led me just to make it more conversational. So if you do have any feedback about whether it lands that way, I'd love to know, because that's how it feels.
I think I could probably be better prepped, and I've gone into this with a couple of notes around what's the signature question at the start? And how are you going to end? And what might be two or three key questions you might ask. And, again, as we know, the hard work is done long before you dance under the lights. So, as I interview more and more people, and that may expand into different areas, I will be doing more prep, I'll probably at the moment keep the the signature question which is, you know, what's your big how? What's your big change? What are you moving from - to? What are you moving from I have to, to I choose to? What is that? And to see if that's an informative or instructional for you, the listener, about how you might make those changes. That's what I'll be doing a bit more next time.
And another distinction that I guess has become clearer for me as I've spoken to Alex and Craig in particular, is that whilst it might not seem extraordinary to you, or even I sometimes - it's extraordinary to them. And whilst we might not be attached to the historical narrative that's made it extraordinary for them, I think there's something insightful and potentially informative by listening to other people's stories about why extraordinary for them, and in doing so, um, it may not be something you know that Michael Jordan or Oprah Winfrey would find extraordinary. And obviously, this is not broadcast to that many people... yet. But I think it's, it's helpful to hear other people's interpretations of how they go through those extraordinary things. And so I'm hoping that it's been useful and informative. A little bit interesting about normal people. If you're someone, if you're a normal person, and you're doing something extraordinary, please get in touch. And I'd happily interview you include you on this, if you think other people would might like to hear to hear your story.
Something I came across or week or so ago was I was part of the meditation webinar. And I've been using Insight Timer a lot. Sometimes just the time or sometimes a guided meditation. And I've been finding it really useful. And something that someone said, was just put the question to us, about how do we find ourselves in a place of peace, when all around us is in chaos? Now, whether your life's in chaos, and I don't know, but when I reflect on the news, social media, some really close friends of ours, as I'm sure many of you have, are going through some really tough times, emotionally, psychologically, in work, in life, with kids, with pets - and it's, it's amazing how much chaos there may be out there. And so in order to navigate that chaos, how do we find ourselves in a place of peace? And some questions that have helped me do that is are things like, what are you curious about? So when I asked myself that question, what am I curious about? It gets me thinking beyond the immediate issue or challenge, or perhaps what's unfolding or what's evolving for me? How is this? How is this playing out? In front of me? And it just gets me to consider that there might be something beyond my immediate reaction to the chaos. Another question that struck me is, you know, what's worth exploring at the right time? Now might not be the right time. But it might still be worth exploring. And, you know, keep in the back of my mind, or in a journal for somewhere later. And the final question that really got me thinking was, so what am I not hearing yet? So very similar to this concept of 21 Whispers and if you know the story, great. If you don't, you can see a two minute video on my website, check it out. 21 whispers about us. And those that comment, how do we find ourselves in a place of peace? When all around is in chaos? And using some of those questions, I've been able to at least front of mind, think about how I do that more and more. And that's become more and more of where my attention is going, despite what's happening, despite what's going on, is how am I finding a place of peace? Whether it's through activity, whether it's through connection with another human, our family, our member of friend, or whether it's through meditation, or whether it's through reading or something. How am I at peace with whatever's going on externally? How am I peace internally? That's been a real prominent thing for me over the last few weeks.
And then the final thing I'll share with you is something I'm quite proud of actually. So originally, the concept here of Freedom Fridays was to not work on Fridays, because that was a have to, given I'm self employed, and choose to. So I may choose to work or choose to play golf or just chillax or do something different. And the intention was to try and add life to my years. And so two things I've done. One is I had a client engagement, tentatively, so if giving myself a hard time it was easy because it was tentative. But it was tentatively scheduled for Friday. And I set it and agreed to a little bit reluctantly at the start, and I'm not sure the client would have known, but I didn't make it make it clear. And part of me feels a little bit of regret and guilt and like, oh, give myself a hard time about that. But then a week later, I plucked up the courage and I got back to the client and said that day is no longer available. And ironically, and as I kind of guessed, there was no real issue. There was no real questioning and, you know, attempt to say, well, your a liar. You should be available, you already said you were. There was no issue whatsoever. So I built up this story in my head about it being a massive issue and why on reflection, I'm perhaps most fearful about is one of my, you know, immovable values is reliability. If I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. So sometimes I'm reluctant to commit, because I know when I commit I'll do it. And so if I say I'm going to get you something, or I'll find something for your or send you something, it might be a little bit later than you expect, but I will usually always do it. So part of my identity is I'm unreliable. If I say I'm going to turn up on Friday, and run a session for you, then I'll do it. So for me to go against that was, that was the hardest thing for me. It was going against that previously held strongly, almost immovable and tightly held belief that I need to be reliable. My worth is about my reliability. And it was kind of refreshing for me to be a little bit, you know, maybe not unreliable in that sense. But a little bit, you know, changing my mind a little bit and it felt okay. And I'm pretty proud that I did it.
And the second thing I'm really proud about is, for the next six weeks, I've invested time and money in developing my craft. My craft is facilitation. And so I've invested in doing an online group programme for the next six weeks. And brilliantly, it happens to be on a Friday. And so for the next six weeks, my Fridays are locked out, they're pretty much set in stone. So it's it becomes in some ways easier for me to say no to prospective work, when I've already got something locked in. Despite, you know, if there was an emergency, I could always change it. But that feels pretty good. So in a future podcast, I will let you know how that's going. But I've been pretty proud of the way I've committed to doing that. Because at the time, when I locked it in, I was still anxious about what my work pipeline was looking like and so it would've been so easy for me to wait until it was a bit fuller before I said yes. But I was pretty proud of that. And that starts this Friday. So I'm really looking forward to that I'm really looking forward to going a bit deeper on the mastery of this, you know, dark art called facilitation. How do you take a group of people and then move them and shift them in ways that they don't even know necessarily that it's happening, all for good, of course. And that I'll report back on that at some point in the future.
So that's it for this week. I hope that was interesting and a little bit reflective on my week so far. Speak to you next week. Cheers.
