Welcome to the Freedom Fridays project with me your host, Pete Clark, The Whispers Guy.
So this is my exploration of time and focus and attention. And last week was nothing week, rather embarrassingly. Such a contrast this week. This week has been an everything week. It really has. It's been one of the best weeks since I've been doing this. That I've really maximised what I did on the Friday. And other distincts came out of it, which I'm going to share with you now.
What helped was actually a conversation I had with a colleague, and she was sharing some of the things that she had been doing. And she quoted something that really struck me. And she said, "You can't leave there until you go there". And what meaning I made from that was, in the last couple of weeks had been feeling a little bit despondent, there was a little bit of a lack of clarity felt like there was a bit of overwhelm, I was in a bit of a funk. And my previous pattern, you know, 12 months ago, my way of fixing that would have been to double down work harder do more, get more stuff done. Tick my to do list off and then create another one and then tick that one off. Whereas this year, 12 months on, my response has been much gentler, much softer. And being able to sit with that a bit more sit with the discomfort sit with the the feelings I've been having without necessarily denying them or trying to shift them inside actually sitting with them so they can be expressed. And I've got two or three outlets that I can do that with. So I'm very fortunate. But what the, the meaning I took from, you can't leave there until you go there is I had to have that experience, I had to go there and feel that feeling and experience that experience for in such a short space of time. And I know it's only a week for it to turn and contrast into everything week. And the main reason it was an everything week was because for the first Friday, and it was a Friday, as opposed to metaphorically. It was a Friday, it's the first one, I've actually done something for myself. Purely unadulterated, in self-indulgent, selfish thing for me. And very simply, I went away with a couple of mates on a golfing weekend, which I don't do a lot. And I loved it, I was playful, I was energised, I love the the break from work mentality into plain mentality.
And one side park the the little bit of guilt and kind of self indulgence, you know, I wasn't working and I was wasn't responding to clients. I have got a big to do list and I wasn't getting any shorter maybe being here. Once I kind of let that go. But once I got into it, and I emersed myself in it, I absolutely loved it. So there's probably no measurement of it, except the feeling of I, without a doubt, added some life to my years on Friday. And it's kind of reinforced that maybe I needed this little bit of our result or external validation, it's reinforced. Not that it's about praise, but this concept of, you know, finding ways to show up in different ways in the best way you can in certain situations.
And so one of the other things that I loved was, I was travelling and sort of spent a little bit of time in the car on my own. And again, a year ago, I would have probably listened to music. This time because of the podcast that I'm recording now I listened to other podcasts and a real variety of things. And once I got onto the freeway and got my coffee, so I didn't have to worry about directions and when I was turning off that was you know, 60k or whatever it was to go to the next turn. I found myself getting a emersed and coming up with different distinctions and different interpretations of what some of the podcasters were saying. I absolutely loved it and I found a phrase that perfectly describes my pattern here and it's, I'm a content magpie. I collect and scavenge and hold and share. Lots and lots of trinkets and tools and little bits and pieces for myself, and hopefully for you, the you the listener. And I love that. I love the fact that I've collected over the years hundreds, probably 1000s of bits and pieces, a phrase a quote, a question, the Weekly Whispers that I do, this podcast that I've started, the facilitation and the leadership work that I do, I absolutely love it. The six hours that I spent in the car, were just such for me a blessing. I got to just be with myself, I got to allow my brain to decompress a little bit. And I've made a tonne of notes, verbally, of course, and speaking into one of the apps and it translates it into notes, and I'll share a couple of them with you. Too many points to mention, there's one podcast by a couple wore, I listened to a coach of Michael Jordan. And one of his observations was when you turned up and watched Jordan, you couldn't really tell whether he was practising or whether he was playing. He went into both of those endeavours with the exact same level of intensity and focus and determination and drive. Now that may not be relevant or necessary for everyone in every situation. But it reminded me, it connected me back to a previous distinction, which was this, that I observed maybe two or three years ago, that I was showing up as a better, a significantly better Pete Clark in front of my clients than I was for my family and friends. And that saddened me that disappointed me that was I felt a little bit shamed when I discovered and recognised that because that's not what I wanted. And whilst I thought my clients were getting a good service, and I really good Pete Clark. I felt really quite shamed that that same Pete Clark wasn't showing up as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as as a colleague. When really they're the people that care about me and love me the most. I was not serving them, as well. So it was a great reminder. Two or three years ago, I made the commitment to try and show up as a better, as good a Pete Clark in front of clients as I can but as good a Pete Clark, as a friend, as a as a father, as a husband as a son, etc, etc. So it was a great reminder.
Another distinction that this coach shared was, and this is more of a metaphor, because again, it's a sporting analogy is he asked the question whether we play better when we're trying to get in the team, or when we're on the team. And I thought that was a really neat, you know, one degree distinction that when you think about sport, you know, trying to get in the team, you're doing a bit extra, you are nudging yourself forward a bit, once you're in the team. And it's the old phrase, you know, fish can't see water, they don't see the environment of which they're surrounded. Once you're in the team and surrounded by that which you crave, that which you wanted. I wonder if we just take the foot off the gas a little bit if we relax a little bit. That might optimally open up a different level of performance because of acceptance and approval and camaraderie, etc, etc. But I wonder if sometimes it doesn't. And you certainly in a sporting context, you do see that a lot that the competition internal competition for places in a team, actually, in some ways can drive a higher, more consistent level of performance. Now, it's obviously not the be all and end all because there's some tricky aspects to that. But that was a, I thought, a lovely distinction.
A third thing I'll share with you was, I considered because I was then listening to something about some of the unique things that are going on in the political world. And I don't want to get and I won't get political. But the question it threw up for me was "Do I have some humility about my beliefs?". I don't mean religious or political. I mean, the beliefs I have about myself and the world and the lens through which I observe people. Do I have some humility about those beliefs? Enough humility, that I could dial them up or dial them down. So am I able to hold them loosely enough, that when new evidence or a blind spot is exposed, I can tweak them a little bit, or even turn them off, for certain situations where it's entirely inappropriate to demonstrate and behave in accordance with that belief. It really struck me as a thoughtful question to consider in all circumstances. Now, my personal belief is you don't want to be questioning everything because you will never settle on something. But I wonder how often I haven't even questioned and have had zero humility, almost an arrogance about what I believed. Because I've seen the evidence of some of the things I've done have helped people a lot, but they haven't helped everyone all the time. And that may be an impossible goal. But it made me think about, oh, I wonder if there's occasions, situations, context where a little bit of humility about what I believe about performance and psychology and how to get the best out of people, maybe I can soften that a little bit.
So that was my week. It was a fantastic week. It was an everything week. I loved it. And I am looking forward to the next week.
Speak to you next week. Cheers.
